THQ Nordic continues to delight players with remakes and relaunches of classic game series, and I must say that every time the Austrian publisher does it better and better. Think of the recent Desperados III or the great Darksiders Genesis. Now the hands of the publishing house have reached Destroy All Humans! The 2020 game of the same name is a remake and reboot of the series, and, let’s face it, this is one of the best remakes we’ve seen.

None of the games in this series have been released on PC, and since the release of the last one, Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon, it’s been 12 years now, so we might as well be talking about Destroy All Humans! (2020) as a new project, especially since it looks and plays quite modern.

So, Empire Furon begins its invasion of Earth. The fact is that over the millennia of continuous cloning, the Furon DNA has been somewhat worn out — errors of the genetic code, degradation, and so on, so that the aliens need an infusion of new blood. And as it turned out, the DNA of earthlings still retained the remnants of the original Furon DNA, which fell into the gene pool of mankind after the Furon soldiers, who were returning home after the war with Mars, went on leave to the hospitable «shores» of the Earth. Well, close contacts of the fourth degree, you know what I mean. Now the Furons, for their own salvation, must get DNA, which is especially rich in the spine and brain of earthlings, so they will have to, yes … Kill all earthlings!

The easiest way to do this is not starting an all-planetary genocide, but by infiltrating the earthly government with the help of television and convincing earthlings to come to the brain extraction points themselves (hmm, there are absolutely no analogies). So, in the year of Christ’s birth 1959, the leader of the invasion Orthopox-13 and the field agent Cryptosporidium-136 (for short, just Crypto-136) are sent to Earth. Unfortunately, Krypto’s plate is at the wrong moment in the wrong place, and the alien is captured by the terrestrial military. Orthopox clones the next fighter, Crypto-137, and sends him to help his brother.

Actually, Crypto-137, this unrestrained, sarcastic, ironic and bloodthirsty gray (this is important!) Man, we will control the whole game. Although Krypto sometimes does not understand the primitive inhabitants of the Earth, he is innate … a cloned sense of humor helps him in any situation, as well as an excellent arsenal of means of persuading and destroying insignificant human beings, their cities and weapons systems.

In general, with humor in Destroy All Humans! all perfectly. Most of it was carried over from 2005, when the writers were not yet afraid of offending various segments of the population and burned them with napalm. By today’s politically correct standards, many of Krypto’s comments and some of the thoughts of earthlings, which the alien reads with his telepathic skill, are frankly offensive and even sexist. We are waiting for massive indignation on the web. The original Destroy All Humans !, clearly inspired by the Mars Attacks movie! Tim Burton’s Our Everything, goes through all the stamps of American science fiction and on all the hot topics of post-war America. Goes to the military, television men, rednecks, politicians, housewives, singers and movie stars, ordinary hard workers, youth, etc. It’s just nice to listen to all this.

Special thanks to the authors for the magnificent mission screensavers, parodying titles and plots of classic American films of the 40-50s. last century. Citizen Kane, North by Northwest, Dr. Strangelove, or How I Stopped Fear and Love the Bomb (highly recommended again) etc.

As for arming Krypto, part of the missions in Destroy All Humans! you will have to pass on foot — this is essentially a simple stealth shooter with a third-person view. Crypto can disguise himself as earthlings, knows how to introduce necessary thoughts into their brains, can make them do something unusual, distract sentries, make them follow him, can read minds, etc. In addition, the alien can discreetly move around the level on the roofs of buildings, thanks to his jetpack.

However, stealth is for weaklings, and it should be used only when it is necessary for the plot. It is much more fun to rush around the level with some stun gun, disintegrator or anal test (here it is a fire… a projectile weapon, remotely extracting brains through… well, you get the idea), destroying miserable people. Skeletons that crumble to ash after disintegration, and cartoonish translucent skeletons when hit from an electric shock cannon are included.

After completing the foot missions, Ortopox-13 will give Krypto the command «Destroy all people», and then you can jump into the plate and erase villages, cities, military bases and the armed forces of earthlings to ashes. Almost everything is destroyed on the level! The houses are very impressive, in a cinematic style, they fly to pieces, the earth burns, cars explode. It’s very nice to watch all this.

On each of the six levels (by today’s standards, not at all large), where the events of 22 game missions take place (each mission can be completed in 10-15 minutes), there are additional tasks. They can be played in free research mode. Abduction — collecting and throwing a plate of people, cows, objects, etc. into the draft beam, as requested by the Honorable Ortopox-13. Jetpack drone racing. Walking Destruction missions and flying saucer missions — Armageddon. With the DNA points earned in additional tasks, you can pump Crypto’s skills and weapons, as well as the mechanisms and weapons of your flying saucer. And on the levels, you can search for lost probes to collect DNA.

The original Destroy All Humans! was made by the legendary but closed EA in 2009 Pandemic Studios, one of the first big victims of Electronic Arts’ policies towards purchased studios. The remaster was in charge of Black Forest Games (Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams, Fade to Silence, Titan Quest remastered), and it must be said that she did an impressive job. The menu has a set of arts showing how the original models from the 2005 game have been reworked, which is awesome. Buildings and characters have become much more detailed, all textures have been redrawn, models have been remodeled, and special effects have been redone. Yes, the local cartoon style cannot be called realistic, the most modern effects, like ray tracing, are not needed here at all, but in general, Destroy All Humans! (2020) looks like a current generation game.

Destroy All Humans! — a parody game. Like the recent Maneater or CARRION, she does not at all call for becoming a misanthrope. This is satire and black humor, genres quite legal in books, movies and games. And Destroy All Humans! — not their worst representative. As for the remake, thanks to the work of Black Forest Games and THQ Nordic, those players who are familiar with the original game will remember the days of their youth and the era of PlayStation 2, while those who have not seen the original will get acquainted with a good and completely politically incorrect arcade that looks fresh even 15 years after the release.

To summarize, I can confidently say that this game is definitely worth your attention! This is one of the best remakes of classic games I’ve ever seen.

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26.9.2020